Spread Eagles

Spread Eagles

This farcical account of the travails of lovers Steve (George Costa) and Francis (Michael Hardwick) is dramatic yet realistic. Steve, a raven-haired outdoors type, is frustrated being only a house-frau and wants an exclusive commitment from the roving, self-absorbed Francis, a Scandinavian blond who would just as soon please himself with an incredibly erotic solo session with an oiled vibrator up his butt. After a senseless argument that they've obviously had too many times before, Francis relies on his tried and true remedy to quiet all of Steve's complaints: distracted and demeaning sex on the kitchen floor, with Francis rudely pulling out of Steve to shoot on his balls, and dashing away to catch his plane, leaving poor Steve high and dry.
In the poignant fantasy sequence that follows, Steve is suddenly a top, and demands sexual fulfillment from a compliant Francis. While Steve is dreaming of a loving and faithful Francis, he, however, is at work as a flight steward aggressively seducing Mark, a college freshman en route to school. Enticing him with free peanuts (what won't we do for those in-flight freebies?), the coolest come-ons ever heard (some are laugh-out-loud hilarious!), and shoving poppers under his nose, Francis easily deflowers this stringy-haired goof, fucking him roughly over the plane seats and, amidst his virginal protests, commanding him to, Congratulated by a voyeuristic Arabian passenger with a strange aura of power, he is seduced and whisked away to the Arab's harem, where the bejewelled Arab fucks Francis deeply and slowly, and sucks him back to reality.
Stumbling home (it's his birthday), he comes upon a full-fledged four-way in progress, ostensibly his birthday party that Steve has orchestrated into an orgy as revenge for all of Francis's philandering. Harsh words are exchanged, but all is forgiven as they wheel out his gift: a casket containing a belligerent black drag queen who strips to Let Me Entertain You. She gets the guests to sing Happy Birthday as they jerk off over a nude Francis, pelting him with their pints of cream! A surprising twist at the end completes this exciting Hand-in-Hand blend of a humorous story and raw sex. Producers and directors Ralph Ell and Leo D'Leon have crafted a well thought out, cinematically superior film.